Some years ago, I learned a practice for attending to what matters from two friends in a virtual writing group. The practice is to compile a list of “what I did that matters” this year. Writing and sharing the list is a way to change the cultural games of self-improvement and outlandish goal-setting that typically come with the turn of the calendar. Rather than set New Year’s resolutions that strive for progress, perfection, and achievement (core values of white privilege, I’m seeking to resist), this practice looks back first and asks a question. What did I actually do last year that mattered? Maybe it mattered to me. Or it mattered to people close to me. Perhaps it mattered to communities and groups where I invest my life’s energy.
By focusing on what we’ve really done, and the ways our vocations have unfolded, we see what matters in a more realistic and authentic way.
This practice, learned from Duane Bidwell and Frank Thomas, continues to evolve for me. Some years I share it on social media. Some years it never gets beyond my own personal journal. Other years I make it into a blog post. Making what we do, and how it matters, public is not simply a “humble brag.” It is an honest and life-giving way to contest cultural values that devour our well-being, exhaust our energy, and erode the planet.
To be sure, there are some things we do that matter deeply, and which are too vulnerable to ourselves or our loved ones to share publicly. So I aim to share in ways I think will cause as little harm as possible. Sharing about love and vocation is unavoidably risky, however. This is a risk I’m willing to take and for which I will own the responsibility.
Ten things I did that mattered in 2025
~ 1 ~
Cared for my parents and daily attended to medical, financial and everyday life questions and arrangements, including a move from one assisted living home to another and staying with my mom six nights in the hospital this fall. With essential partnership with my spouse, my brother, my parents, and many caregivers, we are making a village to care for them, something challenging and life-giving all at once!
~ 2 ~
Supported my daughter in her second and third semesters of college, as she does remarkably well, studying landscape architecture, learning life-skills, and keeping up with world news and politics.
~ 3 ~
Finished my sixth year of teaching at Union Theological Seminary (in May). What wonderful students, classes, colleagues, and time in NYC.
~ 4 ~
Continued expanding my vocational purpose to support ministers, professors, and writers. In all my work I aim to support, inform and inspire people so they thrive in their own vocations of spiritual work – in many geographical places, fields of study and service, and with projects of many kinds. Grateful to work with a team of people who share my interests. Thank you, to the Three Minute Ministry Mentor Team, Adam DJ Brett, Elizabeth-Anne Lovell, Ally Stonum, and Laura Edgar. Could not do it without you!
~ 5 ~
Followed through on the partnership between my church Glendale Baptist and the Children’s Defense Fund to install a little library. With two lending boxes and a bench to sit and read, it is ready outside our church building. It will promote the joy and dignity of children in our congregation and neighborhood. Our purpose is to support the mental health and spiritual well-being of children by helping them read excellent books that offer powerful words and images of age-appropriate, culturally diverse, and emotionally and theologically sound books.
~ 6 ~
Received a research grant from the Louisville Institute and a Writing Residency and Fellowship from the Collegeville Institute to revise and expand the State of Clergywomen in the US into a new report in 2026. The new report will compile statistics of both clergywomen and lgbtiqa+ clergy in the United States. Vanderbilt Divinity School welcomed me for the current academic year to advance my research and writing.
~ 7 ~
Traveled, lectured, taught, offered writing seminars, led retreats, and presented my research on ministry at five conferences, three theological school consultations, and two writing retreats this year. Thank you, Andy Blackmun and Amy Mears at Ring Lake Ranch, Lydia Wiley-Kellerman at Kirkridge Retreat Center, Pete Ward at Durham University, David Howlett at Smith College, Sarah Allen at Austin Seminary, Lisa Davison at Phillips Theological Seminary, and Helen Cameron at Regent’s Park.
~ 8 ~
Hosted a weekday group at the Writing Table, along with two special sessions (7 weeks of Lent and 8 weeks this Summer), led six Mini Writing Retreats, two of them for women of color, and offered coaching to 28 writers (multiple sessions for some). This work collectively contributes to gathering and sustaining a community of writers. The community includes pastors, professors, and authors. We help each other start, complete, preach, and publish our writing in countless venues. Writing is extremely hard, value-intensive, demanding, and solitary work. Yet it is best done in community. I love the magic of the community we are making at the WT.
~ 9 ~
Took vacations, traveled and attended special events with family, friends, and colleagues. We had the best time watching professional baseball, college basketball, and college football. We also went to national parks, beautiful beaches, big cities, and wilderness places. It was the relaxed time, big laughs, and shared meals with people I love that mattered most.
~ 10 ~
Gave time and money to support multiple causes, movements, and organizations. At our house we choose groups sharing a mission of equal dignity and compassionate support of all people with special concern for people who are unfairly marginalized. This work included participation in several rallies and marches, economic boycotts, and financial campaigns. I am grateful for the work of activists and organizations, schools, and nonprofits who champion democracy for all, joy and dignity for children, support for people struggling in the housing crisis, equality and dignity for women and lgbtiqa+ folks, mercy and justice for migrants, an end to mass incarceration, and visions for a transformed world.
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Want to learn more about this practice? Watch the short video (under 5 minutes) of my conversation with Duane Bidwell.
